photo credit: silver wings

another one? what is this, 5? 6? 7? really, i’ve had a lot of blogs. and to be  truthful, no one reads them but me. a blog is something of self-importance, something of self-indulgence. i read blogs because i have nothing better to do, because i’m bored with my own life and because let’s face it, i’ve been abandoned, real or imagined. and again, i speak in commas and i don’t like capitals when i type on the internet. it takes too much time. when it comes to the internet, i think very highly of myself. when it comes to real life, i think very poorly of myself. does that make sense? probably not. i guess i’m doing this because i keep it all inside and sometimes i just want to scream. i thought maybe someone would understand.

photo credit: lomography

but if you don’t like reality, don’t read this. if you’re okay with the unhappy things in life, by all means, read at your own will. there’s only time to spare, isn’t there?


but then there’s the dilemma of wanting someone to read what you write because either you think it’s important or good or whatever or you need help. i’m in the latter category. i just need someone to listen. but i don’t want to be a hypocrite. i hate hypocrites (even though i often am one, but we all are sometimes). i will do something that is easy for people to understand and to read: a list and the ever-so-famous “25 Random Things” (or “25 Random Dumb Things No One Ever Wanted To Know About You But You Told Us Anyway Because You’re So Self-Involved, You Dumb-Ass):

1. i think 25 Random Things is a stupid chain letter

2. i secretly want people to read this blog and that is probably why i am writing it

3. i hate people who self-promote their blogs and yet i have done this in the past and am thinking of doing that for my blog (well not exactly but simply commenting on people’s blogs which i happen to already read but never comment on)

4. i think the bailout (excuse me! stimulous package!) is SO DUMB! i probably consider myself a liberal but my views on the bailout probably classify me as a conservative however does it really matter anymore? we’re all fucked, aren’t we? democrat, republican, purple or green we’re all going to be fucking BROKE in the next couple of years and i happen to think obama is kind of a cool guy but he’s just not so smart in the economic field.

5. don’t even get me started about the big fucking dig in massachusetts. i won’t even go there. again, we’re all fucked. “change we can believe in” (yes, obama had the same campaign slogan as our lovely governor deval patrick). i’ll belive it when i see it.

photo credit: lomography

6. i’m on school vacation this week.

7. you’d think that would be a good thing. well, it is since i really don’t like school at all. but here’s the big one for you: i have depression.

8. my therapist went on vacation last wednesday out of the country and she won’t be back for another week. that’s never happened before. i think i started this blog because it’s late at night and i have nothing to do and i’m lonely.

9. i think i’m probably going to get shit for this. it’s a pity party for myself. but isn’t depression just one big pity party?

10. as much as i love fashion (it can be an unhealthy obsession), i basically wear the same thing everyday, the same formula: leggings + dress/skirt + oversize sweater/sweatshirt + pink patent dr martens + scarf

11. i am obsessed with lost. that’s another thing i live for, like when i’m on the edge and i think about dying i think about lost and fashion but fashion doesn’t always work because it makes me think about:

12. i’m not tiny. my meds made me gain about 50 lbs but also i’m not so good with exercise. that’s why the fashion industry and blogging world and shopping and all are intimidating for me. bad experiences and not so friendly


photo credit: me


1 Comment

Filed under Blue

One response to “ONE

  1. jen

    I feel the same. We have a lot in common.

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